How to Meet the Germans

When making small talk with Germans, it is common to talk about corpses. Because almost everyone watches the crime series "Tatort" on TV. Just like the weather or a football match, Germans find the latest episode either "really good" or "frightfully bad" – there’s nothing in between.

Everything in one garbage can? Not here! Germans meticulously separate their waste: plastic, glass, paper, residual waste. And don’t throw away any returnable bottles – place them neatly in front of the nearest garbage can so that a deposit collector can find them.

Of course you can barbecue while watching football, but in Germany you have to. While the team is preparing for the next match, millions of grill world champions set up their expensive BBQ equipment. Other plans? Verboten!

Germany’s 13,000 kilometers of autobahn may be a magnet for car lovers, but don’t floor the gas pedal just yet. Contrary to popular belief, at least one third of the legendary highways has speed limits, and between construction zones and traffic jams, safe stretches of truly open road are rare.

Germans usually only reserve their spots before breakfast already when on holiday in Majorca. But as soon as an important European Championship match is on, the towels – er, jackets – are also laid out very early on the public screening seats back home in Germany. 

If there’s a saucer at the restroom entrance in a stadium or club, it’s not a cup that’s missing. You leave a tip there for the restroom attendants. Wearing their white coats, they are as Deutsch as a German shepherd: anyone who doesn’t pay (at least 50 cents) is barked at.

Getting bread rolls, buying a soft drink, ordering a kebab – yes, feel free, but please don’t try to pay by card. Germans have a close relationship with cash. And so, even today, you are often in trouble if there aren’t any coins jingling in your pocket.

Can the customer sometimes be wrong? In Germany the answer is "Ja!" German service personnel can come over as rough at times, but beneath their prickly exterior is a genuine willingness to help. Stand firm, stay polite, and you’ll earn their respect.

This saying is drummed into even the youngest child in Germany. So it’s no wonder that hardly anyone crosses the road on a red light – at least not without attracting glares or sniggers. The exception to this rule: Berlin.

From train platforms to supermarket checkouts, Germans waiting in line can resemble footballers elbowing for position before a corner kick. Be ready to defend your position, and watch out for the little old ladies – they’re faster with those shopping carts than you think.